I've been thinking back about my pregnancy, back before I had complications, when I was preparing myself mentally for a natural childbirth. I remember a Saturday when I sat on the patio reading birth stories and imagined what my birth experience might be like. I imagined laboring at home in the initial phases and thought about what a wonderful memory that would create in our home. Instead, I had a birth experience that was unexpected and pretty frightening. Instead, the memories that I have created in our home are of me patiently nurturing my tiny child as she grows.
We had a slight disappointment this week. We took Lydia to the doctor's office on Wednesday to be weighed, and she'd only gained 3 ounces in 9 days, up to 4 pounds 3 ounces. Her doctor was hoping she'd gain 6 ounces a week. I've decided (on my own, not at the doctor's recommendation) to pump breast milk and feed Lydia bottles only until we go back to the doctor on Monday to weigh her again. As much as I want to nurse her, it takes three times as long for her to eat from the breast as it does for her to take a bottle. Right now those are precious calories that she needs to keep growing and get bigger. I am hoping this feeding change pays off, and that we see some good weight gain.
That being said, her health is still great - we just need her to add more weight before we get into winter and cold and flu season. As the days go by here at home and we get into a routine, I don't need to forget that she is a growth restricted baby. Fragile and delicate. I need to be extra sensitive to her needs, especially when it comes to gaining weight. Since she is the only baby I see day in and day out, it is easy to forget that.
Here are some of my favorite Lydia photos so far. Chip took these when his mom "Nana" came to visit.